Why choose to feel guilty?
It has been said that guilt is the one of the great self-induced emotions… if so why do choose to do it? Are we so pre-conditioned that it comes natural?
I think there are a couple of reasons that trigger the state-of-mind which we can choose to move on from if we allow ourselves:
1. We feel ashamed of ourselves for trying to avoid something…
If this is you then the solution is simple – get on with it and do it! I can assure you will feel way better.
2. Living by the world of should…
This is another thing we need to really work hard at but must get over and deal with in a better way. There are just so many should in this world that you can never live by them all – you should find out which ones really apply to you and then you should go about living up to them. (I know the irony of that sentence).
3. Responding with how we are told to rather then how we feel…
Often we act and react in ways that people have told us to do so, and these actions run different to what we feel is the best way to act in the situation. Guess what? This is about self-honest – you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do and so you can choose to feel guilty for not being true to yourself or you can feel liberated and act as you know you ‘should’!
How do you overcome guilt?
It is not easy.
The first step is to identify with the fact that you can choose to be guilty or choose not to be. This does not mean you will not feel bad about things, and even have a little guilt over something. It is about recognising how long you hold onto that emotion before taking the next step.
The second step is about taking action to overcome it. Take steps to resolve the should belief or to be brave and act as you know you will feel better doing or just get on with the task a do it.
The final step is don’t hang onto it – forgive yourself for making the choose to be guilty and choose not to do that again!